“Because casting people are the people who were the meanest in high school who’ve grown up to have a job looking at someone and saying “that’s what you’re like”, and their job is to send me emails saying “we’re looking for a guy who’s kind of awkward and a little bit overweight, certainly not classically handsome, and we think you’d be great for the job” and then I send in thirty seconds of me looking into a camera and they say “ehhhh”, and then they just cast a hot guy.”